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Day Two
2003-08-21, 11:25 a.m.

Day Two of my trip west was delightfully uneventful.

In Ohio, I saw a Hummer limo and that is even more obnoxious than a regular Hummer.

In Indiana, I purchased a bottle of Lemon Drop Jones Soda and it was the best soda I've ever had. It had a nun on the label and I figured any soda with a picture of a nun on the label deserves to be bought.

In Illinois, I met Caitlyn. She was in the bathroom stall next to mine and pointed out that we were wearing the same flip-flops. Caitlyn was five. Caitlyn was also very talkative.

I also purchased three more bottles of Jones Soda...mmmm Crushed Melon is the best.

I hate Missouri. At that point I was one state away from Grand Ole' Oklahoma and I was sick of driving. But I did see a lot of interesting billboards, including:

-A large, yellow billboard with pictures of horse-drawn buggies. The billboard read: "Molli's Amish Furniture and Fireworks." You know, when I think of fireworks, I think of the Amish.

-A ton of billboards advertising porn shops.

-A ton of billboards advising drivers of the fact that "Pornography Destroys Lives."

-And the most frightening billboard of them all...it was advertising the Precious Moments Inspirational Park. Apparently they have people dressed up as Precious Moments figurines...a la Mickey Mouse at Disney World. The life-size Precious Moments person was truly disturbing.

Finally, seventeen and a half hours after I started driving that morning and 42 hours after I left South Jersey, I arrived at my sister's house and promptly went to sleep.

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