Lies and Penguins
2005-08-10, 7:04 p.m.

Today, I took the day off and spent it with my nieces as it was their last day of freedom before returning to school.

However, my oldest niece ditched me in the early afternoon to go to the movies with friends.

I made the youngest niece go see March of the Penguins with me and she loved it.

I am a genius. I don't know why she just doesn't listen to me all the time.

I ended the day with them by lying...a lot.

My lovely sister had left me her credit card to get the nieces ears pierced.

Lie #1: I am not my sister and therefore the signature on the credit card slip was forged.

Lie #2: I am not the wee little niece's mother or legal guardian.

Lie #3: I don't know my drivers license number, so I made one up on the form I had to fill out.

Lie #4: I forged my sister's signature on the permission form.

Lie #5: I am not my oldest niece's mother or legal guardian.

Lie #6: The oldest niece isn't 13 (she wanted the cartliage pierced and had to be 13).

Luckily, the pastor's daughter was there to witness all my lying.

Also, If I were the oldest niece's mother, then I would have been 12 when I was pregnant with her.

However, I grew up in a white trash town and that wouldn't have been unusual.