Facelifts and OU Football and the Crazies at the Grocery Store
2006-07-25, 4:42 p.m.

Yesterday, I am standing in line at the grocery store trying to decipher this guy's t-shirt that had Harry Potter and a bagel on it.

I am standing behind a man in his late thirties who turns to me and says, "hopefully, they'll have a better year this year."

I am wearing an OU t-shirt and I know he's referring to the football team but all I'm thinking is "I can't possibly care less about OU football." But I say to him, "one can only hope."

This may have been a mistake because then the gentleman went on what can only be described as a rant.

First, it was how George W. Bush fixed the chamipionship game to let Texas win because Bush is jealous because OU has Adrian Peterson and Texas only had Vince Young. I'm not sure that whole jealousy excuse works considering OU did not actually play in the championship game.

At this point, I thought he was joking but then the rant continued and now I'm pretty sure that he was serious.

He went on about what an idiot Vince Young is and he only passed his classes because he was Vince Young.

And it didn't stop there. He moved onto the injustice of the idiotic Vince Young making millions in the NFL. And somehow this led him to the end of the world.

But I'll bet you'd be surprised to find out that God does not want the world to end. It's the rich people. Yes, that's right the rich people want the world to end.

And you know what, people all the time tell this gentleman that his parents are rich. And he tells them, "that's right...and they want the end of the world too."

And finally, as was checking out he told me that his father had passed away a few months earlier and he knew his mother was about to get remarried because she bought a new car and got a facelift.

Thankfully, he then left.

All I really wanted was soy sauce, rice and a Dr. Pepper but instead I learned something:
1) Bush is jealous of the OU football program...so much so that he fixed the championship game that OU didn't even play,
2) God does not have a problem with the world,
3) However, rich people apparently do, and
4) Nothing equals a remarriage like a new car and a facelift.