From the Almost Thirty Year Old
2005-01-28, 12:40 p.m.

Yesterday, my mother told me that I needed to consider settling down and getting married because I was almost thirty.

I laughed and apparently laughter was not the appropriate respone.

I laughed because I am only twenty-six which is not almost thirty. And then my mom got mad at me.

I didn't tell her that I believe people shouldn't get married until they are at least thirty because I figured that would send her into an early grave.