The Oscars
2003-03-24, 8:10 a.m.

The Academy Awards. I could write something regarding the more substantive issues�Michael Moore�s speech or Roman Polanski�s win. But I think we should focus on the important things...such as:

� liking Steve Martin for snarking on Joan Rivers

� fuckin� J-Lo. How is she the most over-exposed �celebrity�?

� Keanu Reeves�no matter how cool he looks in leather and dodging bullets, he will never ever ever be forgiven for ruining Dangerous Liaisons.

� Catherine Zeta-Jones: she is about as pregnant as one could possibly get...and still incredibly gorgeous.

� Crass v. class: Michael Moore v. Susan Sarandon or Adrien Brody

� Halle Berry is disgusting hot.

� Harrison Ford looks like ass.

� Mmmmmm....Adrien Brody.

And finally,

� Is it just me, or did Nicole Kidman look rather freakish?