Squirrels
2001-11-09, 5:27 p.m.

In an effort to counteract Sooner's obvious distate and violent tendencies toward small, furry, helpless creatures of the world...I did a little searching on the internet.

Everything you ever wanted to know about squirrels on a lovely website. However, it does appear that the squirrel has broken into someone's home and the squirrel brought baby squirrel with her.

Have you found an orphaned squirrel? Have you found a hurt squirrel...say by someone beating it unconscious with a broom and sweeping it off a balcony. Well, never fear because help is near.

Or perhaps the squirrel hater is right. Maybe the squirrels are evil. I did see a show on TLC once about squirrels. The squirrels eat the young of other squirrels. Yes that's right, they eat the young of other squirrel families.

And maybe Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert has stumbled onto something. Does he have a secret alliance with the squirrels? He makes it all into a big joke to lure people into complacency. Are the squirrels in their secret lair right now, downing acorn juice spiked with vodka, talking loudly in their squirrely voice and planning to overthrow the world?